To Lose then To Gain
by YamiBlueberry-chan
Summary: EDITED: Peter's team lost the game of capture the flag to Tris. He still remains stubborn and lets envy get the best of him. Will this make him blind to the feelings he has? Little by little he seems to be losing everything, to the point he almost gets factionless! Will this love make him lose everything or was there something to gain? -Please read! :)-
1. Chapter 1

_**A **__**PeTris**__** Divergent Fanfiction:**_

"_**To lose then to gain"**_

**Me: I'm back with another story. I didn't used to ship this very much but after I read a few fanfictions I fell in love with this pairing. Besides, Peter reminds me of Warner from Shatter Me. *fangirl giggles* Except for the fact that Peter was kind of pure evil. (I only read the 1****st**** book so I'm not sure of his real attitude.) This is only going to be a cute two-shot...**

**REMEMBER: None of this happened in the book, except for the other stuff that you obviously read.**

**Disclaimer – I do not own Divergent. All rights go to Veronica Roth. **

**Peter's POV**

**(A/N: This is a hidden scene from the book and by hidden scene, I mean that it only happened in my imagination.)**

Capture the flag.

A game, it is too many. But for Dauntless...

...It's tradition, a chance to achieve honour.

And I _lost_.

To whom? The Stiff.

That Abnegation girl was much more clever than I thought. Of course Christina was the one that got the flag but it was obvious everything was planned out by that girl. I mean, you can tell how smart she is. How come she chose Dauntless? She could've been more use in Erudite.

When the game was over, our eyes caught each other's gaze. Or... glares, to be exact. She gave me an evil smile that screamed "We won, you loser!". I keep my eyes on her, hoping that she'd melt on my feet. I shot back something far worse than a glare: a look of pure hatred. She looks even more satisfied as I do so. I see Four clap his hand on her shoulder. I feel pissed off all of a sudden. And when Tris smiles back at him and gives him a friendly high five, it makes me more angry. Not only at her, but at Four too. Especially him. I don't know why though. I look away from them and repeatedly clench and unclench my fists.

I whisper:

"_I wonder what beating up an instructor feels like."_

*(Page... Break)*

Instead of a train, we have to ride a cramped RV to get home. It seemed like a horrible idea to others, but to me it looked cool. Especially since Eric took away the tires so that we can ride it on train tracks.

"You actually expect us to ride in this?" Four asks, keeping his composure.

"I've done this a hundred times. It has never gone wrong." He says. He smirks, like he wants to scare us. "For me, anyway."

I shudder. This person is such a sadistic bastard.

Tris started running into the van once it was opened. Feeling competitive, I ran past her and paused to trip her with my foot. She fell flat, her face on the floor.

I laughed. "Haha. I guess your legs are as stiff as your face."I say, getting in the car.

Adding insult to injury, it may seem painful. But it isn't when you're the one doing it.

I see Al run towards her, helping her up. Tris looks to me with bits of dirt in her face, a few drops of tears in her eyes. I feel weird. Like the inside of me in really heavy and I don't know how to get rid of it. I want to say sorry or be the one to help her up. Is this... guilt?

"Are you okay, Tris?" Al asks, as he helps Tris up her feet. "I'm fine." Tris nods and walks past me, leaving Al behind. I run after her and tap her shoulder.

She turns around. "What do _you _want?" She asks coldly, her eyes squinting in anger. I raise my shoulders. "Nothing. I just... tripped and... held on your shoulder for... um... support?" I babble out like an idiot.

Why did I run after her anyway?

She rolls her eyes and we both take a look inside. Our mouths drop.

"Seriously?" Tris asks, in shock and disappointed in what she saw. I couldn't blame her. There were no seats, only a narrow floor, a few pieces of broken metal from the appliances and a dusty and completely rusted bunk bed attached to the side of the RV. A total death trap.

Before we could get out everyone started to push us in, to make more space for them. We ended up sitting on the dusty bed. I accidentally sneezed on Tris's sleeve.

_Accidentally._

She rubs her shoulder on mine, probably to wipe the mess of her clothes. "You're disgusting!" She scoffs. "I'm moving." That's what she said, but she couldn't do it. It was too cramped to move anywhere. She groans and faces away from me. I do too. Someone takes a seat near us, causing me to move back and our backs lean on each other.

I shiver because of two reasons.

1. Because the girl's touching me. Ugh... *barfing noises*

2. And because I feel like a lot of glares are cutting through my spine. I believe some of them are from Christina, Will, Al and... Four?

Why does that robot care?

The Dauntless-born boy next to us, Uriah, I think, takes a hint and sits on the floor instead.

"Is everyone in? Not like I care if any of you gets left behind anyway." Eric says, inserting the keys in the keyhole.

We all shout, "Yes!" like a class on a fieldtrip. Eric turns to the road or track I mean, and turns the keys.

I see Al look out the window and I hear the screeching sounds of metal riding on metal.

"This is so cool." He says in awe. "We're actually riding on train tracks. In a car."

"Thanks for stating the obvious chubby. Now will you please shut up? The screeching sounds are already hurting my ears." I complain.

"What screeching sounds? The ones on the train tracks?" He asks.

"No. Your voice." I snicker.

I was cut off by Tris's shoulder hitting my back, near the stomach. I wince. "What on earth was that for, Stiff?!"

She stuck out her tongue at me. "That's for teasing my friend." She hits me again. "And _that's _for calling me a Stiff." She laughs.

I open my mouth, then close it again. Four was intensely staring at me... and at the broken pieces of metal. He probably plans to put that through my body.

As if. I would've done it to him first.

The RV makes a turn. I feel the RV topple to the left. I slide down the bed, my eyes shut, turning so my back faces the wall and I catch something.

Someone.

I open my eyes to see streaks of blonde hair blurring my vision.

"Yuck. Tris, get your *cough* filthy hair *cough* of my *cough* mouth. Darn it!" I gag. She pulls her head up and turns to me, some locks of her hair covering her eyes.

I raise my hand, hesitate for one small moment before I reach for her hair and put it behind her ears. It was more of a natural action than something I did on purpose. I pause and stare at her eyes. A nice color, they seem to sparkle too.

Oh gosh, what am I thinking?

We stayed like that for a few seconds, which seemed like minutes in my perspective.

The RV drives straight again, causing it to turn in the opposite direction. I unintentionally fall onto her. I'm lying on the bed.

I push myself up and see myself accidentally holding on to her shoulders. My legs are alternate hers and she looks shocked.

Now this is awkwardly disgusting.

"Hey, Peter!" Christina shouts. "Get off my friend you devil!" Will holds her shoulders to calm her down.

"Hey, kids." Uriah says, staring at us with a mischievous smile plastered on his face. "Can't any of you wait until we get home?" He poses his clasped hands under his chin like a very excited mother. "When we get home you can make out as much as you want."

I turn red and sit up. I hit him on the head, hoping it'd break in half.

"Shut up, Uriah!"

Don't look at me. I wasn't the one who said that. It was Four, Lauren staring at him in surprise, rubbing her deafened ear.

"Stop goofing around." He scolds. "We're in a death trap disguised as an RV. One wrong move and you could get your heads cut off! Stop playing on the damn bed Peter!"

What the—?

He's only scolding me? Stupid favouritism he has for Tris. I notice Eric, watching us like we're his own personal entertainment.

"I wasn't playing on the bed. I just fell when the car turned." I say, getting off of Tris and helping her up.

She punches me on the face.

"YOU HELL OF A PERVERT! SADIST! I HATE YOU!" She screams at the top of her lungs.

I don't care if she calls me a pervert or a sadist. Everyone calls me that all the time. _I just felt hurt when she said she hated me._

I touch my bloody mouth. I grit my teeth, making it feel sore. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I shout back. "DON'T BLAME ME FOR SLIDING ON TO YOU! BLAME THE IDIOT DRIVING!" I point at Eric. He seems pissed. He looks away and focuses on driving. He's saving a much more worse punishment when we get back to the headquarters, isn't he?

She keeps hitting me everywhere. For a girl her punches are hard.

I snap.

I hold her by the wrist and push her on the wall of the train. Al stands up but I don't care.

"_Listen." _I say coldly. _"If I ever wanted to do __that__ with someone, you wouldn't be my first choice, Tris."_

I switch seats with Al, pushing him as I do so. He falls on Tris and she snarls at me. I glare at her then face avoided her eyes.

Al sits beside her and touches her face and hands, looking for any sign of injury on her. Hah, as if I'd waste my time letting out my anger on someone like her.

I hear laughter. Christina and Will debating on some nonsense. Uriah cracking up some horrible jokes. Al and Tris telling stories to each other.

I growl through clenched teeth.

Molly and Drew scoot to where I was sitting. Molly arches an eyebrow. "Peter," She starts. "Are you alright? If you want we can mess with them when we get back if you like." She places her arms on my thighs.

Drew nods. "Yeah, and we'll start with that Stiff." He whispers.

"No." I say. "I'm fine. I don't want to concern myself with them anymore."

Molly and Drew stay quiet. Good thing though, because I don't feel fine at all.

_I feel awful..._

*(Page...Break)*

We're finally at the compounds. He stops at the station elevated 10 feet above the building we jumped into when we first got here. The initiates make a fuss getting out of the RV, jumping out one-by-one. Only Eric, Tris and I are left. I don't know why Eric let us stay last but I have a feeling it won't be good.

"I have a special task for you." He starts. "I want to two of you to get on the roof of the car and I'll push it. You two have to jump off before the car crashes."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?!" Tris and I ask in unison. His diabolical smile is telling us, _yes_.

Typical.

"Insanity can be a form of bravery. Forgetting everything around you and you just do what you want to. That's bravery to show others that you're not afraid to do extremely stupid things." He quotes. Who on earth says that?

We have no choice but get on the roof. The atmosphere between me and Tris is still awkward, but I can't help but annoy her.

"Hey, Tris." I say, stretching my legs as a warm-up. "Can I use your fat face to break my fall?"

"No." She says firmly. "But you're free to use the broken parts of the RV once it crashes." She smiles a forced smile.

I feel the RV move. Eric has started pushing. I make myself feel as light as possible. If I put on too much weight on my feet it'll be harder for me to jump off.

The wheels behind us get lifted off the track, causing the part where we were standing on fall first. I bend my knees and jump. Landing my feet on where the wheels are placed, I feel my heart pump faster, a mixture of fright and excitement coursing through me.

It feels great.

The car is falling fast, gravity pulling it down several meters by the second. Tris jumps off first and she lands safely on the roof of the building. I could see her wince though. I want lose to that girl. I wait for me to get lower before I...

_JUMP!_

I miss the roof top and I find myself clinging on to the edge of the building. I grip the edge until my fingers turn purple and my knuckles are white.

"H-Help." I pant. I... can't... breath...

I could hear Eric taunting me from behind. "Hey, Candor. If you're really a Dauntless you'd get up there on your own."

I look down. I feel dizzy. I'm so high up I could vomit. "A...Are you... kid...kidding...m...me?" I breath. My pulse raising. My eyesight blurry. My hands numb. My whole body shaking.

I'm _scared._

Eric laughs. "What's wrong? Scared of heights? Pathetic." He says. "You'll never get past initiation if you're like that. But hey, I'm not entirely evil. I can leave Stiff there to save you. Technically she doesn't have to but it's her choice." He walks to the edge of the track and takes a long leap. He lands on the tip of the building and gracefully hops into safe ground. He turns his heel and walks towards Tris. He touches her shoulder. He whispers something loud enough for me to hear.

"He's all yours." He says before walking away again. He jumps into the hole and disappears.

Does he really want me to die?! Why is he leaving the sake of my _LIFE _to person in the entire faction who hates me the most?!

"I'm going to die..." I whisper.

I see her feet by my hands. She kneels down and stares at me, with an unforgiving look on her face.

"Yes you will." She says. She must've heard what I said.

She steps on my right hand. I cringe and accidentally let go. I sway, hanging on with my remaining hand.

For once in my life I wish that that small Abnegation part of her will come out. Please, just this once. Just. This. Once.

As much as I don't want to be saved by the likes of her, the fear of dying exceeds my pride. I don't say anything. I just stare at her, my eyes pleading. I bite my lip in determination.

I see her cower and look away. Her face is pink.

Why am I noticing this when I'm about to fall off a 20-story building?

My fingers start to slip. I swear in my mind. **(A/N: I don't swear so don't expect to write anything. I'll leave that to your imagination)**

I forced myself to climb up but my fingers fail on me. They separate from the building.

I fall.

I close my eyes, tears, which is a very foreign word for me, building up.

An arm grabs my wrist. I feel someone wrap their arms around me and my eyes shot open.

Tris.

She was breathing heavily, her hair all messy and arms scraped.

She pushes me away, not letting go of my shoulders. She examines my face in a disturbing way and starts...

... _Laughing?_

"Are youan idiot, Stiff? I almost fell from the top of a building and you're laughing." I say, annoyed and relieved at the same time.

She wipes her eyes that turned watery from laughing. "S-Sorry... haha... it's just that... haha... I have... haha... never... haha... seen you cry before." She says. She stops laughing and smiles like she won the lottery. "You should've seen the look on your face. You really thought I was going to let you die."

I feel myself fuming and I push her off me and walk to the entrance of the compounds. "Just leave me alone you freak!"

"Yeah, that's a great way to thank the person that saved you!" She says, still giggling. She shows off a bright smile.

I stop in my tracks. I thought I was going to say something that would annoy her again but instead, I smile too.

"Thanks, Tris." I say, giving her a two-finger salute.

That was way out of character! What is wrong with me today?

I walk faster jump in the hole and fall into the net. I run into a dark hallway where the only source of light is the blue lanterns hanging in random intervals on the ceiling.

I hide there, hoping no one can see me. I touch my chest and feel the place where my heart is beating faster than usual. I take in deep breaths and long exhalations. I smile unintentionally.

That was the first time Tris ever smiled at me. Not the usual evil or forced smiles she gives me but a real one. One that resembled happiness. That was our first real friendly conversation too.

I'm happy. She actually had the heart to save me. Even though it may not mean anything but at least I know that I may be important to her. I suddenly feel guilty for everything I have done to hurt her. For all those times I see only her weaknesses and take advantage of them. I now know why I was so angry at Four and Al, even Will for being too close to Tris. I don't think I should call it anger. It's what they call jealousy.

I want her to be mine and mine only.

The bad boy image of me slowly dissipates as I think of her, instead I act like a love-struck teenager, which I am.

I don't care if I sound gay. This is what I feel.

I sit down and run a hand through my hair.

Then I think on how I ever fell in love with a girl like Beatrice Prior.

**Me: That was... so... weird...**

**Peter: *reads the whole thing* You're revolting. Tris is too sweet.**

**Me: Hah! As if you didn't like getting hugged by Tris!**

**Peter: N-No I didn't! W-Why would I-I...? *blushes and gives up***

**Me: Peter's so adorable. **

**Anyway, I hope you guys liked it. Like I said this is a two-shot so I'll post the next chapter next time and I have another one-shot or maybe a two-shot or whatever of PeTris again, then the continuation of my AlTris, which will be kind of a FourTris one so yeah. I have a LOT of plans. I just can't post them until my exams are over. So in the meantime Review! Criticisms are not advisable but still accepted. Comments and Suggestions are Welcome too! If you want me to write about one pairing or give me a plot then I'd gladly accept. **

**Thanks and Bye!**

_**((Say bye Peter!))**_

**Peter: See ya later. *waves***


	2. Chapter 2

_**To Lose and To Gain**_

**Me: I'm back with a new chapter. Early update! Sorry, I couldn't stop.**

**I'm going to be mean to Peter in this chapter because I remembered my classmate who used to bully me in grade school. A.K.A, the person who ruined my life and dignity. And **_**coincidentally**__**...**_

**...His name is Peter.**

**Peter: Hey! It's not my fault that guy and I have the same names!**

**Me: I know that, but I don't care.**

**Happy reading!**

~Chapter 2~

Peter's POV

Eric walks in circles in front of us. "Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one." He says. "You will resume fighting then. Today you will learn how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives, and pay attention while Four demonstrates."

None of us move. I don't know why everyone's so tense but I know that this isn't the time to move.

"Now!" Eric screams. We instantly get up and grab some knives. I pick up 3 sharp knives and watch them glisten in the room's light.

Four shows us a demonstration and we're expected to do the same. He hits bull's eye.

What a show-off.

I raise the knife and pretend to aim it at him. Oh how I would love to put this through his chest.

"Line up." Eric orders. I choose to stand next to Tris.

She's mimicking Four's throwing technique, clever. But she looks like an idiot since she's not holding a knife. I want to talk to her but I don't know what to say.

"Hey Stiff, remember what a _knife_ is?" I snicker, in the inside though, I'm hitting myself in the head.

Teasing her has become a habit, and I'm ashamed of it.

Tris uses the knife this time, the knife the doesn't stick but she was able to hit a target. Fast learner.

To impress her, I throw the knife just like Four, it doesn't hit the target though. I groan and walk to pick it up. As I walk past Tris, she asks, "Hey Peter, remember what a _target _is?"

I pick up the knife and throw it again. After a few times, I got the hang of it. I even hit the center of the target. Tris seems to be doing well too. Unlike someone here...

Al has been threatening everyone's lives with his knife throwing. His knives have hit every part of the room, _except _the targets.

I roll my eyes as I ready myself to throw another time. I follow the sharp edge of the knife to the target. I move my hand to the left, then to the right... no... wait... yes. Right there.

Perfect.

I raise my arm and build up the energy in them. I pull my arms back then I...

"WATCH OUT!" Drew shouts. I turn my head. "What t—" I freeze at the sight of a knife.

_Flying towards my face._

I feel someone push me down.

Molly.

I see the knife pass through her hair, cutting a few strands of them before we hit the floor. The force made my head throb.

Molly sat up, asking me if I was alright. I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I reassure her, wiping the dust off my clothes. She helped me stand up and once I do, Al walks up to me.

So it was him...

"I'm so very sorry about that P—" He starts before I rudely cut him off.

"How blind are you exactly?!" I yell. "You could've killed someone, specifically _me_!"

He bows his head in embarrassment, just as he should. "I-I'm sorry..."

Before I could shout at him again, Eric stops me.

"How slow _are_ you Candor?" He asks. "Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" He looks at Al sternly, making Al throw the knife again. I duck as soon as the knife is out of his hand. It flies 3 feet away.

"What was that initiate?" Eric asks coldly. This can't be good.

"It-It slipped." He stutters, what a pathetic excuse.

"Well I think you should go get it." He says slowly but controlled, like he wants to make a point that he was in-charge.

It seems to be working.

Everyone stops throwing. I guess no one's mean enough to want to hit him with a knife.

Well, unlike me.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Eric asks, his eyes filled with authority. They pick up their knives and hesitantly start throwing, except for Tris. How much does she actually care for this person?

But I, _I_ do it much more willingly. The envy flowing in my veins is my motivation. I even throw it near the place his knife landed.

Al starts to shake in fear and I like what I see. "G-Go get it?" He asks. "But everyone's still throwing."

"And?" Eric asks, his face scares even me. The face of a sadist.

"I don't want to get hit." Al whines like a child.

"I'm sure you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you." The Dauntless leader was right, I could aim better than him. And I'd be more than happy to aim it at chubby's head.

Eric smiles, he seems to be having fun. "Go get your knife." He commands.

"No." I can't believe he had enough guts to say that. Everyone knows that contradicting Eric is like getting a one way ticket to death.

"Why not? Are you scared?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife? Yes I am!" Al says.

Am I excited to watch Al risk his life while fiddling for his knife? _Yes I am!_

"Everyone stop!" Eric shouts. Everyone stops moving. I wonder what having that kind of power feels like.

"Clear out the ring." He points at Al. "All except you."

Everyone moves but they only stay by the door, none of them going out.

Eric gestures to one of the targets. "Stand in front of the target. Hey, Four. Give me a hand here, huh?"

Four's body stiffens and his expression becomes alert.

"You're going to stand here while he throws those knives until you learn not to flinch." Eric orders, his voice icy.

"Is this really necessary?" Four asks, he sounds bored.

"I have the authority here, remember? Here, and everywhere else." Eric snaps back.

Four gives up and stands in front of the target. It's obvious he doesn't like Al, but that isn't a reason for him to throw knives at him. He takes aim and pulls his arms back. I could see Al quiver in fear, beads of sweat dripping down his face.

Eric looks satisfied.

He was about to throw when someone spoke up.

"_Stop _it."

Tris. _No..._

She turns towards Eric and I'm screaming at her in my mind not to do anything stupid.

Expectedly, she does.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target; it doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of _cowardice_." She says, with the upmost confidence in all her features. She seems more beautiful that way.

Eric grins evilly. "Then it should be easy for you," He says slowly. "if you're willing to take his place."

_**No. Tris, don't do it. Be selfish for a change!**_

Tris walks up to the target. I want to take her place but I can't. It'll seem that I think she's weak, which was definitely not the case.

My feet are glued to the floor and I can't move. I don't want to.

Four has a good aim and even though it hurts to admit it, he likes Tris too. So I'm pretty sure he won't hurt her.

Four hesitantly stretched his arms. "If you flinch, Al takes your place. Understand?"

Tris nods.

Four throws the knife. It takes a lot of willpower and self-control to not throw _my _knife at him.

The knife appears like a slash in the wind and it hits the wall a foot away from Tris's face. She closes her eyes at the impact.

"You about done Stiff?" Four asks. I hope she says yes.

"No." Tris shakes her head.

_Of course._

"Eyes open then." Four says, tapping the space between her eyebrows.

He throws it one more time and I almost gasp. It see the knife pass Tris's hair, about an inch or two above her head.

"Come on Stiff, let someone else stand there and take it."

"Shut _up, _Four!" Tris shouts.

_**What are you trying to prove Stiff?! Just let that Al be a man and get what he deserves!**_

Four throws the last knife and he does something that made me want to punch him in the face.

That monster nicked her ear.

Eric speaks before I attempt to put my fist in his mouth. _(I wish he hadn't.)_

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is but I think that's enough for today." He says before he walks over to Tris. He touches her shoulder and whispers something I can't hear.

I hear Tris and Four arguing once everyone leaves and I stay by the door. I don't bother listening to their fight and I just have my mind lost in thought the whole time.

I wonder why Tris went through all that trouble for Al?

That's an easy question.

Because he's her _friend._

Someone I can never be.

Why?

Because of everything I have done to her. I always taunt her and mess with her and I don't even know why I had to fall in love with her. Maybe because she was nice to someone like me. Even after threatening to kill her and her friends she would still go and show me acts of kindness. Or maybe this is just an act.

Yes.

An act.

An act to soften me and so when I think everything's going perfectly fine that's when she'll attack me and I won't be able to fight back.

She _pities _me.

Should I fall for this trap? What if it's not and she just did that because of her Abnegation roots? She might be as nice as I think she could be. Maybe she could forgive me.

Well, that's why I chose Dauntless. I'll take the risk and learn to be brave. To not be scared of getting hurt because getting hurt is a part of the Dauntless lifestyle, and of course and love too.

My new mission: Be Tris's friend.

(What a lame mission...)

o-o-o

"If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?"

That's all I hear Four say before he comes out of the room. I hide behind the door and hear Tris scream in frustration.

I come in and see a knife flying towards me. _Again._

I duck and hear the knife stick into the wall.

Tris's eyes widened then squint back in anger.

"What are you doing here, Peter?" She asks, folding her arms.

I raise my shoulders. "No reason." I say innocently. Silence consumes us for a few minutes before I speak again. "So..." I start. "Is your ear okay?"

She raises and eyebrow and scoffs. "_Oh no. _My ear bleeding an ocean beneath my feet and the fact it stings a lot mean that it's fine. Perfectly fine."

I roll my eyes. "I properly asked you a question. Can't you give me a proper answer as well?" I ask, folding my arms.

"It's completely obvious that my ear is _not _fine! Let's see someone nick your ear with a knife and see if it's okay!" She yells in frustration.

I put my hand in my pocket and pull out a white handkerchief. I walk towards her and reach out my hand to wipe the blood off her ear.

She punches me in the gut.

I scream in pain and I wrap my arms around my sore stomach. "W-What..." I pant. Her punch pushed the air right out of me. "What was... t-that... for?!"

She glares angrily at me. "Don't play dumb with me Peter! You were going to hurt me by touching my ear!"

I feel a sharp pain in my chest that overpowers the pain in my gut. "What? I wasn't! Why would you think that?!"

She lets out a small laugh, a laugh of disbelief.

I hate it.

"Really, Peter? Really?" She asks to me. "After messing with me countless of times and beating me up unconscious with no mercy whatsoever, do you really think I can trust you to do anything but try to hurt me? I know you well enough—"

I grab her wrist and cut her off. She tries to break free but I grip her tighter. "No you don't." I say. "You don't know anything about me."

I dab the handkerchief on her ear and watch the white fabric turn dark red. She doesn't move but her eyes are staring at me like she wants to take back everything she just said.

Well, she should.

"Let's get something straight, Stiff." I start. "I never asked you to save my life but I'm grateful you did. I will never feel like I'm free from any debt until I save your life in return."

I pause, taking in a few deep breaths.

"So until I repay that debt," I say, removing the handkerchief from her already dry ear. "I will protect you, no matter what."

I let her wrist go and dump the handkerchief on her hands and turn my heel.

"You don't h—" She starts to protest but I quiet her down by pushing my finger between my lips.

"This is what you call a man's pride. You wouldn't understand." I walk forward and stop by the doorframe. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what you did."

And with that I left her in the room, running once I'm out of her line of vision screaming at myself in my head.

_What the heck did I get myself into?_

o-o-o

**Peter: You really hate me, don't you?**

**Me: You or the one who bullied me?**

**Peter: Both.**

**Me: Aw come on, don't be like that. **

**Peter: You almost hit me with an air-borne knife! More than once!**

**Me: Almost. Remember that almost is an important word.  
I loved this chapter. And I got the idea for the debt thingy when I was studying for my Noli test where a guy promised to protect the other guy after he saved him from getting eaten by a crocodile. This is one of my favorite scenes in the book and I want to read the one in Four's perspective. What was the title of that again? If any of you guys have a pdf or an epub file please send it to me! **

**Anyway, I'll make this more than a two-shot since so much more can happen! **

_**Note: The universe of this story MAY be different from the ones in my other stories. Since they have the same timeline. I'll just see if I can make things overlap.**_

**Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**To Lose and To Gain**_

**Me: Hi! I'm going to be making up pasts for Peter and some other characters. I haven't finished the series yet so tell me if I write something wrong okay? **

**And I'm sorry, Peter, for almost getting you killed, multiple times.**

**Peter: Ugh, fine... I'm forgiving you, because you don't usually apologize to a lot of people.**

**Me: Thank goodness. Now that you forgave me already I can make you miserable again in this chapter.**

**Peter: Wait, WHAT?! NO! I TAKE IT BACK—!**

**Me: To-o-o La-a-ate! :D **

**Disclaimer – I do not own Divergent. All rights go to Veronica Roth. If I **_**did **_**own Divergent, not so many people would've died.**

**But I still love your writing Veronica Roth!**

~Chapter 3~

**Peter's POV**

After running a few miles, I stop and go to the dorms. I collapse on my bed and thank God that no one else is there.

I can't believe I was dumb enough to do that! Even the memory of my idiocy stings my pride.

_Flashback:_

"_Let's get something straight, Stiff." I start. "I never asked you to save my life but I'm grateful you did. I will never feel like I'm free from any debt until I save your life in return."_

_I pause, taking in a few deep breaths._

"_So until I repay that debt," I say, removing the handkerchief from her already dry ear. "I will protect you."_

_I let her wrist go and dump the handkerchief on her hands and turn my heel. _

"_You don't h—" She starts to protest but I quiet her down by pushing my finger between my lips._

"_This is what you call a man's pride. You wouldn't understand." I walk forward and stop by the doorframe. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what you did."_

_Back to reality..._

This is stupid! What made me think of signing up to be the Stiff's personal knight?!

Oh yeah, I forgot.

I fell _in love_ with her.

I close my eyes and _try _to have a nap, but, whenever I get _so _close to sleeping my own voice saying, "_I will protect you."_

It keeps me awake.

I groan and stare at the ceiling.

**(A/N: I just thought of this and I haven't read the other books, so if there was any info about Peter's parents, I wouldn't know.)**

The love I feel is just like what was written in those really, REALLY old romance novels **(A/N: Which are probably from our time.) **my mom always used to keep under her bed and she'd read them when dad falls asleep. That's the only thing she lied about in her life. I guess she didn't want my dad to think that she wants a bit more romance in her life, completely misinterpreting her way to get entertainment.

I read one of them while I was fixing the bed, I usually sleep there with them when they want me too. (Don't you dare get the wrong idea!)

It was about a rich young man who seemed perfect. He had the looks, the money, and the fame which he got from being a model of a famous clothing branch. But, he was ruthless and mean. He always kept degrading people below his status in society and never had respect for anyone, even his parent or parent, his mom died when he was young.

Then, a very ugly girl became his maid. She was a poor working student and had no parents nor an actual home.

The thing that the guy hated the most about her was that she wasn't like any other girl who would swoon over her, nor was she like those other poor people who stayed quiet when in front of someone more powerful than them. In fact, she loved to talk back and defend herself even though she had no ability to.

He hated her so much.

But the girl was nice, selfless and is always there to lend a hand to anyone who needs it. Until one day, he just realized that he became easily influenced by her, he would always look for her and the things that made him hate her are the things that made him fall in love with her. He was slowly being changed by her.

Like Tris does.

The girl who I dreaded the most became the person I am now dreaming of having, hoping it won't remain a dream.

Now she's the reason I can't sleep at night, the reason I'm becoming softer.

No matter how much I hate the way I'm getting emotionally weaker, I love the fact that it was caused by her.

I smile as I finally feel comfortable on my bed. My eyesight gets blurry, my eyelids are drooping. As the sandman finally makes his move on me, I see someone over me. I can't tell who but I can tell the person is a "she". I see the image of Tris and feel embarrassed for this hallucination. I whisper something, slowly but firmly.

"_I-I love you... Tris."_

And with that, I'm asleep.

o-o-o

**Molly's POV (didn't expect **_**that **_**did you!)**

I go into the dorms while every other initiate is out either eating, shopping or even training. I was looking for Peter and like I expected, he was there, lying on his bed.

My palms are sweating so much I could fill a whole tank. My heart is beating so fast it would be less painful to just implode right there on the spot. I cling to the door frame and stare at him. His beautiful blonde hair and dreamy green eyes. He seems to be thinking hard about something.

Maybe about _me_?

Yeah right, I wish! He would never— Wait. Could he?

I gather up all my courage and walk up to him.

As you can tell, I like Peter.

Correction: I _love _him.

I love him so, _so _much.

He's been my friend for a long time and at first I thought of this feeling as mere _friendship_. I have actually loved him for a long time and you may think that being his childhood friend would give me a great advantage.

But you're wrong.

He sees me as his _guy friend._ He treats me the same way he treats my other best friend, which is degrading. I may act like a boy, but technically, or biologically, I'm still a _girl_.

Once I reach him his eyes are already closing. I must've spent too much time lost in thought. He looks up to me, his eyelids falling, and smiles. I feel my cheeks turn pink and I smile back.

"I-" He starts. I lean in closer to hear him better.

"I love you..."

I instantly turn red and put my hands on my cheeks to cool them. Did I hear that right?

His mouth opens and all the happiness I have felt that moment disappeared and flew out the window.

One word.

"_...Tris."_

I swallow back tears and press my fist against my lips, quivering. I run to the bathroom and lock myself inside.

Not caring if the walls are sound-proof or not I cry. I cry, I wail, I sniff, I sob, I weep. I slide down to the floor and hug my knees tight.

I'm breaking down.

"_It's n-not f-fair..." _I say to myself. It's true. I've known Peter for a longer time than she ever has! And why did Peter fall for her? She practically hates the guy! And that's just an understatement.

That idiot Peter! Falling in love with a person that will never _ever _love him back, while I'm here ready to accept him with open arms.

I stand up and stare at my reflection at the mirror. The thought of Tris makes my face become bitter. I stare at myself while I clench my teeth, crease my forehead and wipe the tears off my face.

Jealousy is slowly possessing me like an evil spirit and I don't stop it. Jealousy, selfishness and hatred usually come in one package.

I smile at my new reflection. My smile has _"revenge" _written all over it and I hope it stays there permanently.

The easiest way to win a prize is to get rid of the competition.

The most pleasant way to get rid of the competition, for me anyway, is to make her suffer until she willingly gives up herself.

"_Be prepared, __**Stiff**__."_

o-o-o

**Peter's POV**

Waking up early in the morning seems to be the hardest part of training, especially if yesterday's training –and your "_love problems_"—exhausted you. I sigh as I get off my bed. I took a bath and wore a white t-shirt under a black checkered polo and some jeans. After I get my yawning self ready for the last day of stage one, Molly and Drew come to me with big smiles on their faces. Their smiles sent a chill down my spine.

"Morning, Peter!" Molly greets.

"What the heck are you planning?" I ask, my voice as rough as my mood. They look at each other and their smiles grow wider. Instead of telling me their plan Molly just told me, "Secret."

Secret? What exactly goes on in those two's minds? Instead of persuading them to tell me I just headed out to get something to eat and wake myself up with a walk.

Once I get to the cafeteria, I see they didn't serve anything but some corn flakes. I grabbed a bowl and some milk and headed towards a table. I scan the room for Tris and she doesn't seem to be at the table with Al and the others, which gives me a sigh of relief.

I walk towards their table and they all stare at me with deep and excoriating eyes. Unfortunately for them, no matter how much they glare at me, I won't flinch. I'm not scared of them.

"And what are _you _doing here?" Christina asks first. "Did those leeches you call your friends finally ditch you?"

I roll my eyes at her. "No." I say flatly. "Did yours?" I pointed at Will and Al, who were gritting their teeth at me. "I see that Stiff did. She must've grown tired of you, especially since you took the flag that was obviously won by her."

Christina gives me a hurt expression. "Th—"

I cut her off before she says anything else. "It was obvious someone like _you _would take glory for something she didn't achieve. I kinda feel bad for the poor Stiff. The fact that I hate her," – Saying that left a bitter taste in my mouth – "doesn't change the reality that she has such awful friends that don't deserve her."

Christina stood up, her arms and legs in their fighting positions. "What do you know? You better watch that big mouth of yours before it tastes my fist!" She warns.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh. "_You, _fighting... _me?"_ I scoff. "You have _got _to be kid—"

Will stood up and slammed his hands on the table, spilling the milk. "If you have nothing nice to say then you can just leave." He suggests, pointing at the hallway.

"What?" I ask in a sarcastic voice. "I may not have said anything nice but at least I told the truth. You all think that she just acts weak for you to pity her, in which you are wrong. She is a strong girl. But..." I give him a fake frown. "None of you think so... do you?"

They don't answer and I'm loving the silence choking them. I roll my eyes at them. "No wonder she's _this_ close to hating you." I say, showing a small space between my fingers to prove my point.

Al walks towards me and holds me by the collar. "**Leave.**" He demands, his voice serious and firm.

The other initiates stand up, ready to break our fight. Eric stands up and grins while Four sips his drink calmly, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

Kicking Al in certain places would've been the much more fun thing to do but I didn't do it.

Instead I say, "She would especially hate you. You're the man and you're letting her be the one to protect you. Isn't that pathetic? She almost got her ear cut off because of you, and you didn't even check is she was alright."

Al is raises his fist when I sip some milk from my bowl and dunk it on Al's head. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, not a sign of good manners, and say, "Thanks for the meal!"

I duck under his arm and run to the direction of the dorms, laughing and making faces as Christina yells at me to come back, as Al removes wet cereal from his hair and as Will swears under his breath.

I'm ruining their friendship with Tris.

And even though I love her, I don't feel bad about doing it.

If I'm lucky, she'll come running to me once her friends finally realize they don't deserve her.

I see Tris. I fluster uncontrollably as she bumps into me. She turns even redder as I am when she sees me and she punches my face.

I hold my nose, where she hit me, and my fingers feel wet.

"What the heck?" I say. "What on earth was that for, Stiff?! You broke my nose!"

o-o-o

**Tris's POV**

I get out of the bathroom, running and running, ways to get back at Molly and Drew are the only things in my mind. After scarring me for life, I'm going to make sure I leave an even deeper, more painful mark on theirs.

They almost harassed me.

They ripped me of my dignity, by ripping of my towel.

As I let the anger sink in I bump into Peter. I freeze and my cheeks warm me up again.

I punch him in the nose, and it starts to bleed.

I broke it.

"What the heck?" He says, feeling the crimson flowing down his nostrils. "What on earth was that for, Stiff?! You broke my nose!"

I open my mouth. I want to tell him, to tell him what his friends did.

Why he wasn't there to protect after vowing to and why his friends had to do it.

But...

_Flashback:_

_Molly pulls my hair as I try to reach for a blanket or anything else to cover my body. I hit the bed frame and I desperately cover whatever I can._

"_P-Pe—" I whimper his name, until Molly pulls harder. _

"_Don't you __**dare **__say his name!" She yells._

_I clench my teeth and hug myself tighter, fighting to not let out a scream._

_She stares at me like I committed murder, even though I haven't done anything wrong. She pulls me closer to her and I hear Drew laugh._

"_And make sure Peter won't find out about __**any **__of this. Because if he does... you'll be experiencing much worse than __**this**__." She says as she finally let's my hair go and I fall on the bed. She starts laughing with Drew and I realize._

_I realize that I am now wounded._

_I realize that that wound will never heal, but instead, become a scar that will never and I mean __**never **__disappear from me._

_It's a part of me now._

_And it makes me feel scared..._

_End of Flashback_

I close my mouth and swallow back tears. "S-Sorry." I say, my voice breaking. "It's n-nothing."

His eyebrow arches and he stares at me. He stares at me like he wants to see through me and I want to look away but...

_I can't._

"W-What?" Is all I say.

He points at my chest, at my tattoos. "I never knew you had a tattoo."

"So?" I scoff. "What of it?"

He jerks his hand away. "N-Nothing. I just think that... it suits you." He is saying. I stare at him in surprise. Was Peter... _complimenting __**me**_?

"What do the birds mean anyway?" He asks, putting his arms behind him.

I look down at my tattoos. "They represent each family member I have left since graduation. This is Caleb, Mom and Dad." I say, pointing at each bird. I trace a line from my collar bone to my heart. "Notice how it leads to my heart?"

He nods.

"That's because even though we're apart, they can always find a way to be in my heart." I smile. I just realized how much I miss them. A part of me, a very, _very_ small part of me is actually looking forward to Visiting day.

"I think it's great." Peter says, slicing through my thoughts. "How much you love your family, I mean. _Unlike me._" He says the last part so softly I barely heard it.

"Yeah..." I find myself smiling at him, then I wipe it off of me. "Wait, why am I telling this to you?"

I run away as fast as I can, into the dining hall, looking back to see Peter waving at me with a big smile on his face.

I have never seen him smile like that before.

o-o-o

I see Al, Will and Christina. I wave at them and walk towards them but they don't wave back.

Instead, they stand up and walk away. As Al walks past me, I notice his hair is all sticky.

"Hey," I say. "What happened to your hair?"

He shrugs and doesn't answer. I glance at Christina and Will, who both avoid my eyes. I want to ask what's wrong but they don't let me. They dash out of the place before I even get the chance.

I sigh and sit down the table... by myself.

I stare at the food on my plate set down by Four. Four smiles at me and mouths, _"Everything will be okay." _

Then he sits beside me and doesn't say anything.

I'm grateful for that. I look at his dark blue eyes and I feel safe for a moment.

Then, that moment is gone.

I put my elbows on my thighs and bury my face in my hands. Four claps his hand on my shoulder. I want to smile at him but I don't have enough happiness in me to do so.

I groan.

_How can this day get any worse?!_

o-o-o

**Peter's POV**

Once I get back to the dorms I shut the door as fast as I can and see Molly and Drew laughing at each other. I walk up to them and ask, "Hey, what are you guys all happy about?"

Molly grins and bites her lip to stop laughing. "Oh, our plan went perfectly well." She says.

"Plan? You mean your _"secret" _plan?" I ask, making air quotes.

They both nod and smile at me. Then Drew notices my broken nose.

"Hey dude, what happened?" He asks. "Got into a fight?"

Molly stands up and touches it. I cringe. "Ouch!"

She removes her hand. "Oh... Sorry 'bout that."

I sigh. "Oh, I kind of pissed someone off." My nose stings but I laugh it off.

"Who?" Molly asks, awfully surprised or angered, I'm not sure which.

"No one important." I lie.

Tris happens to be the most important person to me right now.

"Oh." She says.

"So, Al was a big klutz yesterday, wasn't he?" Drew asks, attempting to change the subject.

"Yeah." I say. "Makes me feel ashamed we used to belong in the same faction."

We start laughing with each other again.

I'm glad everyone's in such a good mood but...

_Why do I feel like something has gone terribly wrong?_

o-o-o

**Me: I made Peter a... little... "evil" in this chapter. I'm sorry for those liking his good side. I'll bring it back! I promise! But... I don't want to make him too... out-of-character. **

**Besides, I was a bit pissed off at Christina when she took the flag and I wanted her to feel some sort of regret. Of course she does in the book but I wanted to see what would happen if they made that an even bigger problem. **

**Feel the guilt Tris's friends! Kidding! :D**

**Peter: Things are going to go terribly wrong, aren't they?**

**Me: Not telling! And if you guys want to find out, you'll have to wait for the next chapter.**

**((It will probably come out after I update, ****Diverging Love****))**


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